You may have heard the rumors circulating on Facebook, but I am here to confirm that YES, I HAVE INTERNET! As soon as I got it all hooked up and working, I felt the muscles in my body relax on command, as if my brain had sent a surge of seratonin coursing through my body, or as if I was a junkie getting her first hit of smack in the morning. I would imagine. I celebrated with an immediate internet binge (that I'll admit I'm still in the midst of) that will probably last for three days straight, after which I'll feel very poorly about myself and the time I wasted online, and take a break for a day or two before I break down and binge again. I'll admit that it's an unhealthy situation. But I'm in control, I swear.
But I should be thankful for another reason-- surviving my first week of work! Granted, I use the term "work" here very loosely. I mostly sat in the backs of various classrooms, piping up to give a pronunciation here and there when the teacher asked and having this conversation over and over and over again:
Kid: "Hello!"
Me: "Hello!"
Kid: "What is your name?"
Me: "My name is Laura. What's your name?"
Kid: "My name is [insert impossible-to-understand French name here]"
Me: "Hi, [mumblemumble], how are you?"
Kid: "I am fine. How are you?"
Me: "I'm great, thanks!"
Kid runs out of phrases and backs away, and the next one comes up to start the conversation again. Repeat.
Variations on this theme include: "Where do you come from?" Answer: The United States. "England?" No, the United States. It's the United States. "You are English?" Um, no, American. Chicago? "Ohh, gangster!" Yes, I am a gangster.
I have also never said "hello" and "goodbye" so many times in my life! I at least need to teach the kids "hi" and "bye" to cut down on some syllables. I thank my lucky stars that there are other English-speaking assistants in Bar le Duc, because I think I might go crazy from having the same limited conversation otherwise. But the kids are cute and excited about learning English, I'll give them that. I'm glad I don't have to worry about motivating angsty teenagers, and they probably wouldn't laugh at my silly faces and dramatic readings of "Which Witch's Wand Works?" like the kids do. Next week, the Halloween lessons begin. Anyone have any favorite Halloween songs or rhymes that they'd like to share? When I was in France last time, I taught the boy I babysat, "Trick or treat, smell my feet, give me something good to eat! If you don't, I don't care, I'll pull down your underwear!" He loved that, but somehow I don't think it would go over real well in a school.... Yeah, I probably shouldn't have taught it to him either.
Well, since in MY upbringing - the good Catholic household that we were - I never heard the part about the underwear. Clearly, you learned that "on the street!" "Trick or treat, smell my feet. Give me something good to eat," was all I ever learned - but here's another ending: "If you don't, I won't be sad. I'll just make you wish you had!"
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